


A Christmas Ghoul

by Half_SubmergedinPurgatory



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Crack, Gift Fic, Implied Amoneki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 04:10:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5524910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Half_SubmergedinPurgatory/pseuds/Half_SubmergedinPurgatory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eto has an idea that'll render Floppy useful to Aogiri. It's a terrible idea. </p><p>For jonariku since they drew the original Santa-Amon art that inspired this fic and for ironhuntress for being a pal and reblogging the Santa-Amon art right as I was writing them a gift.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Christmas Ghoul

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Itherael](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itherael/gifts).



All was silent in the Aogiri stronghold. They had returned from the Anteiku Raid some time ago and their One-Eyed King, Eto, had been up to something with Dr. Kanou ever since. Not even the upper echelon knew what it was exactly. Eto responded to any and all questions by singing Christmas carols.  
  
  
It was confusing ( _and ominous_ ) to say the least. Now that it was Christmas eve, the silence was…unnerving.  


Far away from Aogiri’s typical hangout spots ( _the meat room, the prisons, and the gardens_ ), a lab was tucked away underground. Eto had been in and out of it for weeks, making sure that her new playthings would be as fun as she’d imagined. Kanou had allowed it ( _not like he was given a choice_ ) because Eto had presented him with a few _interesting_ ideas.  


There had been a problem with one of the samples. He hadn’t been cooperating with torture: he’d been bent, but not broken. It appeared that Eto was going to scrap him ( _a pity, that. Such a rare specimen_ ). However, she had changed her mind at the last moment.  
  
  
All because of an interesting idea.  


It had been hard for Kanou, trying to make her vision come to life. RC cells were versatile, however they had never been made to adhere to such a purpose. It was ridiculous. Working under the time pressure she had placed on him was also edging close to impossible.  
  
  
Kanou had always loved a challenge, though. He couldn’t resist, not when the alternative was throwing away such a perfect specimen. Ah, it made him nostalgic for Kaneki Ken ( _his masterwork_ ).  
  
  
Now wasn’t the time to dwell, Kanou chided himself as he worked ( _ignoring the screams, the blood, and his specimen rather determinedly trying to murder him…he really wished Eto had allowed him the use of proper anesthetic_ ). He had to finish in just a few hours, though he’d prefer to be done before the clock struck 12.  
  
  
Luckily for Kanou, he finished with a full hour to spare. He swiftly hurried from the room, taking one last look at his latest creation, before scurrying into the halls to look for Eto. He hoped that she would be pleased. He was willing to tweak a few details here and there, and had definitely taken some liberties with the design, but overall he hoped nothing changed ( _this look spoke to him. He thought it was more appropriate than her initial plan_ ).  


Moments after the door to the lab slammed shut, Amon Koutarou awoke, groggy but no longer in pain. He was naked and vulnerable on the table, something that immediately set his instincts alight. In a panic, he managed to do something that usually required a life-or-death fight.  
  
  
He activated his new kagune.  


Or rather, his new **_kakuja_**.  
 

Terror flooded his veins as he saw red snake over his arms and his chest, winding around his thighs just below his pelvis and then at his feet. Was he going to die like this? Was he going to become a monster? How terrifying would his new visage be!?  
  
  
Amon fled the room, stumbling as the kakuja began to solidify around him of its own violation, and sprinted down the halls. The Aogiri stronghold was quiet and his footsteps pounded in his own ears as loudly as his heartbeat. He was going to get caught, he just knew it, but he had to keep running while he had the chance.  
  
  
Disoriented and panicking, he slammed directly into the room where Kanou and Eto were meeting.  


“Oh look, Doctor. I told you not to take any liberties with the design! Now he’s a flop!”  
  
  
Eto cried upon seeing Amon, gesturing grandly while snaking out a branch of her kagune to shut and lock the door behind him. Kanou looked offended and pointed a quivering finger at Amon, spitting back,  
  
  
“Listen, I think that this version is better!”  
  
  
Eto huffed, muttering something that sounded _(‘sounded’ because Amon must be going crazy and mishearing her_ ) like,  
  
  
“It was supposed to be much shorter. This isn’t sexy or daring at all. Kaneki won’t join Aogiri over something like this.”  
  
  
Kanou’s face went bright red with rage and he suddenly slammed a portfolio of photos down onto the table at which they had been sitting. Something in the back of Amon’s head told him not to look at the pictures. It told him to faint now if he valued his grip on reality.  
 

“You. Have. No. Taste. I was willing to make a few changes, but the slutty Santa costumes you suggested leave nothing to the imagination! You have to tempt a man with at least SOME mystery of what lies beneath the skirt!”  
  
  
Kanou yelled out, waving a photo that Amon refused to look at. However, against his will, Amon’s hands crept towards the edge of his kakuja.  
  
  
It was soft…and plush…like velvet. There was fur trim ( _how was that even possible_ ).  
  
  
It felt like a dress.  


Eto and Kanou were arguing loudly over the merits of baring it all ( _“Oh, just shut up will you!? You’re a nudist! Of course you think it’s better to just show everything off!”_ ) and leaving something just short enough to be “naughty” _(“You’re such a prude! This is why I don’t trust old men with anything. You would never be able to touch the hearts of the youth today!”_ ).  
  
  
Amon was pretty sure he was wearing a dress. A dress of a tasteful length, but a dress nonetheless.  
  
  
From the current direction their argument was taking _(“Kaneki Ken is a herbivore man! There’s no way he’ll fall for such an aggressive tactic!” “It’s not aggressive! That’s why he’s dressed as Santa! Who is the master manipulator here, hmmmm!?”),_ Amon was also pretty sure his dress was Christmas themed.  
  
  
They’d implanted him with armour that was a glorified Santa-suit. If he escaped, every single time he fought, he’d have to wear this outfit.  
  
  
Oh Lord, it was like he was a magical girl. **_A Christmas-themed magical girl._** How stupid would he look in July!?  
  
  
“Fine. Just…fine. Whether I like it or not, we’re going to dangle him in front of Kaneki Ken today. I swear to you Kanou, if he doesn’t join Aogiri, I’m going to destroy your mind.”  
  
  
Eto grumbled, their argument seemingly over ( _not that Amon could care anymore. His brain was busy shutting down in embarrassment_ ). Kanou huffed, nodding his head once,  
  
  
“You’ll see. I know my patient best. This will definitely work.”

  
...

  
  
Let’s just say, that Christmas was the strangest one Haise had ever had. A sexy Santa dropped down his chimney, his face as red as his Santa Suit, called him ‘Eyepatch’, and delivered a note saying,  
  
  
“Join Aogiri for more of THIS!”  
  
  
With a crudely done drawing of the sexy Santa surrounded by hearts. Then the Santa covered his blushing face, muttering,  
  
  
“Somebody kill me now.”  
  
  
And fled back up his chimney with a kagune. His mystery man was a sexy-ghoul-Santa.  
  
  
Huh.  
  
  
Haise dismissed the entire thing as a fever dream and went back to sleep.  
  
  
( _News arrived to the CCG the next day: Kanou Akihiro was found dead. What a fantastic Christmas miracle!_ )


End file.
